This is a ramble. That means there’s not a lot of focus, here, but rather a walk under some trees while I ramble about what’s in my head today. There may be no rhyme or reason, but it’s out here.
When I was a little girl, I waited eagerly for the magical month of JUNE. It meant the end of the school year, to me. I loved school, understand, but by June? I was ready for a break.
Now that I’m all grown up and everything, June still means Summer Vacation, but from the mom’s point of view? Not all that much of a vacation, you know? I will have my time much more spoken for than it is the rest of the year, since being a MOM is the top priority of the workaday hours. (Being a wife is of course the other TOP priority, but Spousal Unit is out of the house before dawn, so though he is in my head, he’s not part of the daily routine.)
Son the Younger is finishing up elementary school this June. The kids in the fifth grade are all hearing about Middle School all the time and it is possible my son is the only student who doesn’t know where he’ll be attending come August. That’s right – there is as yet no placement for him.
As a Special Needs student (he’s autistic, for those who are new to my blog) he requires a certain set of circumstances in which to learn optimally. The usual things don’t work for him. Even within our vast school district, it has been determined that there is no school which will serve for him, to do the best for him and still maintain a good learning environment for others. The motivators most people respond to have no effect on him; the positive and negative reinforcements mean very little. We don’t know why.
So here we are, days away from the end of the year, and my son (who does not do well with unknowns) is having to operate with a huge UNKNOWN over his head. It’s stressful. It’s stressful for me, too, since I cannot help prepare him for something about which I am ignorant.
Still, it’s June. Summer Vacation is just around the corner. Ceremonies, meetings, paperwork. Family vacation, swimming pool construction. A novel to write. A novel in editing. My calendar has many colors for many different deadlines and appointments already lining up for us.
When I was a child I wanted to be an adult – like so many other children, right? I couldn’t wait to grow up and not have to be a KID anymore. Son the Younger is always wanting to be “twenty-two.” For him, that is the watermark year. The one that means adulthood. Freedom from mandatory school, maybe. The ability to try to be independent, to live away from Mom and Dad, perhaps.
I think growing up means taking ownership of your circumstances. Accepting they are the way they are and enjoying them, rather than wishing them away. So I walk into June and Summer Vacation knowing that my days will be busier, my hour-to-hour obligations increasing. There will be a need to demonstrate patience as we wait to see where Son the Younger might be placed for school next year OR if we will take that job on ourselves.
If that happens, these next two weeks before the end of school might be the most restful time I’ll have for years. I suppose I better plan on enjoying them. @}——–