What if?

When I was in elementary school, we had fire drills and earthquake drills. When I was a teacher, we added in a “disaster drill” – something that required the school to be evacuated and emergency response teams to come in and so on.

Now, schools are preparing for direct attacks.  Not accidents or an Act of God, but premeditated violence perpetrated on personnel and/or students.  Here in my neighborhood, a young man with a firearm threatened a student (high school) and was stopped by a faculty member.  And that was just across the street!

As I have thought about the horror inflicted upon Newtown and Sandy Hook Elementary, I cannot help but consider “What if?” What if my son were in such a situation?  (My brain, sadly, takes a lot of trips down the Path of the Worst Thing Possible.)

My son, being who he is, is not the kind of child who does “drills” very well.  In the event of an emergency, his likely response is to freak out, run away screaming, throw furniture.  Getting him to hide quietly and safely? Not gonna happen.  This is, frankly, frightening.  His autism is characterized by incredibly high levels of anxiety just about the mundane – put him in a crisis and it’s a terrible thing to witness.  He is also as contrary as the day is long and has been from infancy.

Needless to say, we haven’t discussed the tragedy of last week in our home. We don’t watch TV and we don’t get a newspaper, so it wasn’t even a topic that came up in front of him.  I am prepared to discuss such events with him if the need arises, but right now?  I confess to be avoiding it.

But I pray constantly for the families of those who cannot.


  1. coastalmom · January 7, 2013

    I worked at a Speech and Language Development School in my twenties and will never forget a couple of kids there. My heart goes out to you and your son. You are among the special souls.Unique in your own ways. A mother that has parts of her heart, she never thought were there as well as patience and even more so, time. The dashing around we did before we were mothes, kind of slows us down when our kids need us more. You know? One year, I was told that I couldn’t get those kids to learn how to tell time. Ya wanna bet?

    • Sandi · January 7, 2013

      Greetings, coastalmom~

      I am always amazed and gratified at what a parent can accomplish in the extremities of life.

      Oh, don’t even get me started on people telling me and mine what we will and will not be able to accomplish. LOL My stepdad had polio and they said he’d never walk again. Ha. The man could run! Not so much now, but he’s still pretty agile for a 70 y/o fella. 🙂

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