“Dinner and a Show”
How I Kept My Mother-in-Law Laughing for Hours
Today was the big family birthday celebration for my husband. His mother hasn’t been able to celebrate with him due to the exigencies of time and space for perhaps fifteen years. So it was a big day.
We spent two hours making a special frosting. We broke in the brand-new ice cream maker.
And I broke a flower-pot arrangement. Because my mother-in-law tried to kill me.
I think I thwarted her devious design (please note how firmly my tongue is in my cheek) by falling backward instead of forward.
She has a lovely chair swing. While the corn was cooking, my mother-in-law invited me (mwahaha) to relax outside on their upper balcony in the swing, as there is a restful view. Perhaps fifteen feet above the ground, the balcony overlooks a sharp drop into a wooded area. I have never occupied this swing and was looking forward to it.
Armed with my Kindle (yes!) I sat down in the swing.
And it fell over backward.
I was immediately covered in potting soil. My face and hair and in my mouth and nose. My legs were high in the air – and I am SO relieved no one was out there to get a picture of my overturned self, holding my Kindle up out of the mess of dirt in which I found myself.
Hours later, after we had eaten a celebratory lunch and enjoyed our cake and ice cream, my mother-in-law confessed to me (in an effort, I am sure, to alleviate my lingering embarrassment) that she had fallen in the swing before.
So! I had proof! This was a premeditated act!
Okay, she is still snorting about this event. I am still very very happy no one had a camera or my bare legs and dirt-covered face would be plastered all over Facebook.
Because my mother-in-law spends a lot of time there, and I am sure she and other mothers-in-law are wondering how to rid themselves of extraneous daughters-in-law.
But only after we provide grandchildren.