Not moving on the sly…exactly…

Moving is stressful.  There’s the local separation from the familiar that can be wrenching. There’s the packing of the current abode (which, depending upon time of residence, can be daunting!), and the signing out of children from schools…

And the house-hunting. For me, this is proving to be the most difficult, and I’m not even there – in our future home state – to do the hunting.

With a child on the Autism Spectrum, moving can be exponentially more stressful, but we here in the House O’Quill are employing our usual methods to keep things on an even keel. We prepare our younger son, Builder, for the move and we ….

Well, I….

… don’t talk about the uncertainties we are facing.  Builder has virtually supersonic hearing (we call him Bat Ears on occasion) so speaking about anything in the confines of the house while he is in it is essentially inviting him into the conversation.

Still, we’re moving. And things have to be discussed, right? I just have to try NOT to discuss them. He is doing GREAT with the idea of moving at this point. But hearing about 15 different houses and why they will or won’t work and why we can or cannot make offers for them would prove unsettling. Very much so.

We were quite excited about one house in particular and were preparing him to be thinking of moving there…and then we found that the taxes and closing fees were extraordinarily, unexpectedly high.  This upset my little guy and sent him into a spiral that lasted ages.

I really don’t want to go there again, you know?  So to avoid that, I do my best to avoid talking to him about it, finding time to tell his big brother, Cyclone, about prospects when Builder is in the shower.

Yeah. Real mature of me, I know, but… Yeah.

Spousal Unit has to do the footwork, but I am in charge of vetting potential properties and discussing them with a realtor.  Spousal Unit is working with the lender. We are both doing our parts…in a circumspect manner…to make this work.

Still, the stress is undeniable. So I’m blogging about it.  Thanks for listening. 🙂



  1. La Tessitrice · June 14, 2011

    Buying a house is hard enough without all the extra problems you have to deal with, so good luck! Hope you find somewhere perfect!

    • Sandi · June 14, 2011

      Thank you! I used to hope for “perfect,” too.LOL Now, I’m kind trusting in “livable.” lol It doesn’t have to be forever, just for a little while, huh?
      Thanks so much for dropping by!

  2. Warren C. Bennett · June 15, 2011

    I think that is the mature thing to do. The immature thing would be to talk about all that in front of your kid and let him freak out and not *care.* I’ve seen that type of thing way to much in my life – so kudos. And you know what? Not getting the house you want probably isn’t a bad thing. God knows more about it than you – I’m sure there is a reason for not being able to get that abode that you may never know. You know what they say – where God closes a door, he opens a whole in the wall with a Mac Truck so you can escape.

    Or something like that 🙂

    • Sandi · June 15, 2011

      Oh I am sure that God is doing the house thing.:) But I think it is a human thing to like X or Y, so long as our liking of it doesn’t make us disobedient, yeah?

      And thank you. You have known me as a mom for so long and I know that you have your own experiences in living with kids and caring for them and I value your opinion. 🙂

      • Warren C. Bennett · June 15, 2011

        Oh I know it is human and it can be disappointing when what we like isn’t what we immediately get. And you are welcome, though now it has been awhile since i took care of kids. They are all in their teens….

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